Aging (2)

I had an airmail … it was from X saying Y is staying with her – and said she looked like someone from Belsen when she arrived – she broke her femur some months ago and hadn’t been looking after herself. I think X expects to keep her there which would be the best. Y added a happy note at the end saying how well she was and being spoilt – X has 3 Alsatians and endless cats.

You never mention X – did he ever chat to Y, or is he away with the fairies – v. sad – he was such a good looking man. One thing about Z [home town], we’re all running down and make the same silly mistakes and get more and more ga-ga!

I can just imagine how X would haver about the composition and the exposure and everything else. Just as well it would be still life he was taking – but, as you say, not really endurable for you. How on earth anybody could fall asleep in the middle of making sandwiches I can’t imagine, (and I am getting very good at it listening to the news, reading the paper or even playing Bridge).

asleep in the kitchen


Sorry not to have written for so long. I was going through a very hard time. … I spent two weeks in X’s flat and this set me up for the last lap looking after Y. I had caregivers while I was away. He seemed much the same when I got back so I did not think he would go to the Lord so quickly.

The man next door is struggling, but X his wife – who has a raucous voice was telling me on the phone, how it was like training a child and he would wipe his nose on his sleeve and she’d correct him and he’d do it again 2 minutes later. I said I hoped he couldn’t hear her – but she assured me she was in the next room!

Poor dear is losing her sight and has sudden fainting fits so has to stop driving – the Drs say if only she’d have one whilst with them they could diagnose the cause – another friend had the same trouble and did have a ‘turn’ at the clinic and is now on her third ‘pacer’ and driving again too.

I still find it hard to accept that everyone is so aged and white hair and remember that’s just like me – sad!!

Had a bit of a disastrous year so far. Started off with my spectacularly unsuccessful right knee replacement op in March – still hobbling about and loads of pain. X had a massive heart attack in September just 3 days before we were due to go go away. Life is now a hectic round of doctors’ and hospital visits but we intend to get back on the holiday treadmill in earnest next year.

I discovered I am diabetic, what a surprise – but looking back I think Mum had it, though untreated, and she lived to 90.

I find now, 73, I am definitely slowing down.

My sister-in-law managed to sell the farm and has bought a house in the suburbs but pulling it apart bit by bit and re-vamping. At her age I can’t see the point in all the improvements – we all seem to think we will live forever!!


X is looking v. frail and tires so easily – he takes umpteen pills which seem to keep his ulcer and heart ticking over and his nice young doctor assures him he’s doing well.

I gathered from X that they did take some scrape or whatever and results from that were to come back later – haven’t heard about that yet. I guess the question that remains is why the results of the original blood test or whatever were so strange, if it wasn’t what they thought it was.

X [new baby] is an enthusiastic drinker and managed to nibble a couple of holes in me early on, which then apparently got thrush, so we had a jolly week or so there. Finally, they seem to be healing up thankfully and we’re building up toward full breast-feeding again. What would my La Leche friends say? Yesterday I went out to the hospital to have warm ozone blown on me which was very pleasant and may have been helping the final healing – what funny things they think of ! Better than being microwaved, which was also on offer!

On the boring subject of my indisposition last year, I had a brush with the dread disease (not bosom) and some major surgery by the most super surgeon who recently arrived here – lucky for me. He was 6ft 3ins, bearded and could be described as the gentle brown giant. Couldn’t have had anyone kinder, gentler or more skilful…

on steroids

He wanted me to start the steroids that day – which I duly did after dinner… I found I had no headache and felt fine – I can even open my mouth properly! BUT the other side effects sound almost worse than the complaint. Getting heavy over all trunk and weak in the muscles – arms and legs – and a round face. ‘Walk tall, sit on firm dining room type chair’ and so on.

I seem to remember she got allergies by the score when she was with you before and had to use an ioniser or some such to purify the air! I am sure they are splendid devices but I am always a bit of a cynic and want to see something for my money.

… there was a general gloom anyway as one Partner had died in the week and the husband of another had ‘pulled a muscle in his chest’ – he died suddenly the next day, heart attack of course.


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