incoming mail – Page 22

Fund-raising

We had our jolly fair about 10 days ago. The fair is a most interesting phenomenon. After months of advertising, sewing, jamming, etc., the doors are flung open at 1 p.m. to a locust-like invasion. The place is bedlam for about an hour and a quarter and by 2.30 the place is filthy and empty and we are $5,000 richer. NOT a genteel social event.

Thank you so much for your donation to Maggie’s Centre. My fund-raising is going quite well. I have over £1000 in sponsorship and hope to get some more from the ‘exciting’ Ladies’ Night. Also I have decided to go to a car boot sale on Sunday, and am trying to dig out the rubbish of ages to sell.

It sounds as if you are a hot bed of industry one way and another, but I do hope the new outlet proves successful and that the Handicraft Evenings go on bringing in big sales. It was a dashing idea and might well have proved a rather embarrassing evening for all concerned, with nobody really wanting to buy in any quantity – but it didn’t so that is grand. I visualise the next step as door to door selling like a gypsy with clothes pegs!!

Yesterday was a big stint at the hospital for geriatrics and old off-their-chumps as we had an ‘Edwardian Garden Party’ with some of the volunteers and staff rigged up in Edwardian garb – or as near to it as they felt like! …I helped behind the cake stall and book stall in my usual garb – and only wished I still had winter woollies on as it was all out of doors and cold at 10 a.m. In fact it rained by about 11.30 and everybody’s goodies got a bit damp, but we hadn’t many cakes at all so there wasn’t much left to protect except for some very nasty tins of mushy peas and the ilk, given from the back of the store cupboard by some well-wisher!

I went off and helped at a junk and jumble sale at the hospital and I did rather well on my junk stall as my next door neighbour cleared out all sorts of exciting china bits which went well. In fact in the first rush I reckon a good bit was nicked. We really hadn’t quite enough helpers but what matter who pinched what – it gave the patients a thrill and I don’t mind if they nick things. But when outsiders who are trying to beat down every price do, I get upstage about it!

the volunteer doesn't mind the patients helping themselves — help yourself sale

Handicrafts

… if any Jacob’s wool would interest you later on, there will be a jerseyful to spare – blotchy black and white and very, very random in all directions – colour and thickness! But mine has been my saving grace during the last month and I am seldom out of it when indoors and on my own – it is hardly elegant for the hospital, which is too hot anyhow!

I have nearly given up making papier mache pots, but I can’t resist well-paying commissions, but it’s very labour intensive compared to painting. I tend to do business wherever I go, if I can. I painted 14 pictures this winter in the Bahamas and left six there to be sold. I hope they are all sold before my next visit in January.

I was ready to sit and do nothing but tag some more wool into my new ‘bogus-feather-cloak’ type shawl. I’ve done about a third of the tagging now – after which it will need tabby weaving all round, and tasselling on two sides.

She has now sewn together the twelve squares I wove on my lap-frame, to make a rug… I pretend that the unsquareness of the pieces, owing to my over-tight weaving, is part of its old-world charm.

I’ve at last started my Jubilee Sampler, I think I should have practised first, every stitch is an adventure, nay, a disaster – all the thread is getting furry with so much unpicking!

He continues his ART and sells out each exhibition. It’s a great pity as he’s really gifted but has appalling taste.

I’m sewing for the stall – dolls’ clothes etc. I borrowed a Barbie against all my better principles – they are so revolting – but do make good clothes horses… And I’ve done some for Action Man – including sleeping bags. I chose some material that looked a bit like camouflage but was glad I didn’t say so at the sewing bee this week as it was someone’s maternity smock!

The endless patchwork she does and she reads so much as well and she’s pretty well crippled with her back and really should not live alone. Of course, the secret of getting so much done is not to have a television. It’s my undoing – I slump on the sofa and usually go to sleep – so feeble-minded.

some do handicraft, some snooze to TV — slumped

She makes mirror frames and they sell like mad. She gets a ‘little man’ to make the frames, and she paints or stencils them in lovely colours and pops in a mirror. The frames are not exactly carved, but bits are chopped out here and there and the effect is great. She even does full length ones.

Children

X always thinks he’s right, very bossy and very little tolerance especially to Y. He seems to be under the impression that all of life’s incidents are like a mathematical equation and have one correct answer – he, of course, always works out the right answer so differences of opinion are rubbished vehemently and loudly!… at school he’s apparently a veritable angel as he got the class ‘citizenship’ prize which means general nice guy, good manners, courteous etc.

[Child of 9] I was so nervous my knees were chattering.

well, why shouldn't knees chatter — chattering knees

X brought over the 2 younger boys. Before she went she warned me to wash Y’s pillow well and truly as she’d just seen he’d got some visitors in his hair again! Of course ever since I keep feeling itchy.

I’ve been particularly careful with X, but she’s so on the defensive – especially about the children who must be admired and never thwarted – it’s not been easy.

We discovered, rather belatedly, that we were about to be parents in the plural… I gave birth to twins… However [a month later] we were of the belief that sleep had been abolished as they ate (or drank) every two/three hours since they were very little and trying to catch up.

He had a grotty week while we were at camp. He was teething and walked round with a mouthful of spit all week (occasionally dumping it, once on one of the chaps who then called him Waterbomb!) Then he fell out of his cot and banged his head and either bit his tongue or developed mouth ulcers as well. And then he got the blisters. Poor kid. However he was back to normal by the end of the week.

X has found one good friend in the class, whose word has become law! Some of said ‘words’ are rather unlikely but he’s a nice little boy. We have to check his bag when he comes to play – the first time they took some of our tools up the tree house and dismantled two locks and a peep-hole cover. They then made plans for pulling the whole house down and rebuilding it in 4 storeys with umpteen decks! Next time he came he had his drill set and three of his father’s brand new paint brushes with him. A bit of soapy water to paint with distracted them from the drill thankfully!

X has been right into volcanoes recently. He and Y (who has walked on an erupting one, you know!) have been allowed their heads at school to pursue it for their reading topic for a while, which was nice. They have an ongoing game about special Powers they own who do various things (like swapping the roofs round at school over the weekend!) and have names and characters of their Powers and visit various planets. Also invisible snakes and tarantulas! All rather fun.

Things fall apart

a woman gets on with it herself — one-woman demolition company

I have made the quite drastic decision to demolish this house, and build another on the site. I could see the roof needed replacing. Then I thought of the damp… and of the back of the house now with a nice sag to it and not likely to last too many more years.

We have had an awful election with much violence, cheating and skulduggery of all kinds. It’s really pointless giving these ignorant yobs a vote as all they really want to do is have a good fight and shoot each other – very depressing.

The poor old Morris just went. I think someone must have been looking after me, as the engine just died in a most convenient spot as far as limping into a free parking space right by, and getting home without any bother.

Why, oh why, should the good Lord send all the plagues of Egypt to settle on your flat or its neighbour? It does seem a little hard, but I hope it won’t end in boils on you as well.

They are in the midst of a horrible divorce and he still suffers from depression. Just hope things can be finalised in the next few months – I’m sure he will recover when the pressure and rows are over.

Having moved so often I was surprised how stressful I found it this time round, until I realised it was the first time I had orchestrated a move a) while holding down a job, and b) with no maid to fetch and carry and clean! (Maids, who were once the norm here, have become a luxury since the gov’t imposed a relatively high minimum wage for them. All very commendable in theory, but it has also meant many are now unaffordable and therefore unemployed.)

She has just divorced her husband – he seems to be suffering from a severe mid-life crisis. Gone completely off his head – not with women, just with life. His factory was closed down due to debt and he seems to have lost everything he owned and it is not bad luck, it is sheer poor management and total irresponsibility.

Infirmity

… two nights with the old 93-year old cousin, full of woe as the family home has to be sold and she is miserable although she can’t live there without a ‘keeper’ as she will keep falling down on her arthritic legs.

Scottish Dancing is his passion in life which she cannot do because she has a back, or something. [We know what you mean!]

Yes, how X needs a break… I remember her as the Golden Girl with everything going right for her.

A good resolution for the winter will be to type for 20 minutes each day to make my fingers work right, but I may have left it too late and I shall never get out of the habit of using the wrong fingers when the correct ones bend the wrong way! But if I could make them a bit more pliant it would help.

I seem to be getting the rheumatics in my shoulders and arms and my hands look pretty peculiar and some fingers leave go of things at the wrong moment and although my toes are permanently numb and blue they don’t actually seem to be falling off.

A thorn in my side this year has been my temporary assistant. The present occupant works about quarter time at best. She is always ‘sick’, and never even apologetic or worried about it. Personally I think a good shaking would do a great deal to improve the situation, however it doesn’t feature as a motivator in any of the personnel manuals. .. We are unable to terminate her employment as she continues to bring certificates.

It is a bore and very ancient-making to be crawling everywhere like a decrepit crab instead of stepping out!

Employment hassles

Your work situation seems as harrowing as mine, though in a different way. I get annoyed at needing to do everything myself to make sure it gets done properly (or at all) but not being allowed to. I exploded recently at the finance man who blamed his inadequacy on the ‘fact’ that I ‘don’t understand Portuguese very well’ (!) when it’s patently obvious that I understand it so well that I am in danger of catching him out in his little games.

I was unable to take any leave. The Corporation works in a way unique to itself I think, and I have found myself acting in a position for nearly a year now. By the time things get back to normal it will be over a year. During this time I have also acted in a yet higher position for four months, having two (three counting myself) untrained staff to look after. Of course, no one asked me whether I wanted to do it, or even seemed to think whether or not I might be capable of it. I was exhausted after that little effort, and have managed to have one week’s leave which was just wonderful.

I worry about you a bit – you are earning enough to eat properly aren’t you? It’s so damnable that anything one enjoys doing so often doesn’t give financial return.

Her schoolgirl daughter has been giving me a hand in the garden and is quite useful although I really prefer doing it alone! Still it provides extra pocket-money for her…

It looks doubtful that the contract will be renewed after the second year, however things may change. Hopefully the Council will take pity on me. However, it generally can see more justification in a prestigious car for the Lord Mayor than in employing a few more people.

Church / religion

One of the more interesting details was the hairdo of the smaller of the two candle-bearing girls. I suppose she might have been fifteen. Her hair was short and dark, but with most of the ends well-blonded. It just struck me as unusual as a combination with serving in church.

There was an interview on TV, on Sunday evening, between one of our better known TV personalities and Lloyd Geering. The first is a declared (almost militant) atheist, and by the end of the interview I did rather agree with his view that Lloyd Geering is an atheist too, though he disguises it under what the interviewer described as gobbledygook … when he said things like ‘God is a word which we use as a symbol for possessing a system of values’… Actually he has lots of good ethical ideas, but like most humanists seems to think that if he can get people to agree on what are the right ‘values’ all will be well, ignoring the fact that no one manages to live up to their ideas (even with the grace of God to help them, let alone without). But you can’t help liking him!

In the cold weather I have temporarily abandoned church – it is too freezing cold to get out of bed in time for the 8 a.m. and the church is so cold for the longer 10 o’clock that I go numb during the service. We have our new vicar starting this coming week so I shall have to reform soon and become a faithful if inattentive attender.

We went in the evening to the Salvation Army. The new Captain and wife, only recently arrived, started dead on time and finished in 50 minutes. They collect most of the congregation in their car and a van, which gives them the whip-hand in the matter of timing!

In the morning service, X declared (in a whisper) that she wouldn’t sing one of the hymns because she didn’t like it so she was going to sing something else. She didn’t, of course, but the funny thing was that on the next carol, Y did! He started singing the second verse (which he swears always used to be the first)!

Doctors

My doctor is very aggrieved that I was so upset by his phoning late with his news of my blood test, and mumbles he won’t tell me anything in future if I get so worried about it. He insists now that about 10% of the people locally would very likely have it and I could have gone for years without knowing if I hadn’t had a blood test and anyway he didn’t diagnose it, it’s in my notes from five years ago, but the results showed it was getting worse this test.

I am absolutely delighted with ‘obsessional slowness’ and ‘pathological procrastination’ as the words fit a number of everybody’s symptoms. What will they think of next as a sensible diagnosis to offer a grown man?

They have been spending the day with us, which was lovely. The baby had a rotten ‘rattle’ and ear trouble. They’d been in to see the doctor on the way here. I think it’s fortunate he and his wife are to be the godparents – doctors’ fees have gone up per visit! Part of the new budget. And prescriptions. Already two people have died because they couldn’t afford a weekend visit to the doctor. In fact ‘they’ now say this should never happen – but the poor don’t know.

My doctor said if it didn’t clear up then I’d better take a self-destruct pill, I wasn’t feeling well enough to think it funny, it’d lasted six months. Incidentally I did change my doctor and now go to the woman, who seems very understanding, but has the slightly chilling habit of not saying anything so you’re inclined to say more than you intended!

Transport

Her ‘new’ Mini seems a success; pity she left her old one (before it was sold) uphill from the new one, with the brake off! Fortunately it didn’t do much harm to the grid on the front.

I am so glad that you have got the car, and hope that it will serve you well. Admittedly, there is something about the swoop of a motorcycle, on a nice dry road, and on a sunny day, which you would need £50,000’s worth of car to equal, but it will be a joy to be rid of the business of dressing specially to go anywhere, and even more of arriving wet and cold.

He spends a large part of his time at the gym and out with friends. [The other son] seems to be out much of the time also so many a night we are sitting at home car-less while our sons are out doing the social rounds.

I was most surprised to see that a city sophisticate such as your good self had reverted to being a peasant, even if you still make a daily pilgrimage to town. There is no doubt a reason. You will know that your commuter line is shortly to be electrified. This might improve things travel-wise.

Jobs

I’ve pretty much decided to give up on teaching for a career. I like teaching, but I’m not very good at the crowd-control side of the job.

I’ve been doing a month’s relieving 45 minutes drive away. It went OK I suppose but it was a bit hairy in parts – the last 4 weeks of a 15-week term is not an idea time to take over an undisciplined class! However. It’s a shame for the kids having 3 teachers in a year actually – especially as there’s not much else that’s stable at home for many of them around the school area.

This change of plan meant X had to get her au pair a little earlier than expected and a lady from Turkey arrived just a few weeks ago. She has just finished University and is now an Industrial Engineer. Her English is limited but, being a very clever lady, is improving every day. She hopes to stay here for a year whilst her fiance is doing his National Service.

X continues to be a complete mystery to me. Programmers really are on a different planet from the rest of us humans but, nevertheless, he is successful and enjoys what he does. No parent can ask more than that!

I’m supposed to find which diseases the butterfly caterpillars (which we export as pupae to live butterfly displays in UK and USA) die of and prevent them…

I am in a bit of a quandary at work. My boss is not managing as coherently (I can’t think how else to phrase it) as he was. In fact, I think he has got steadily worse over the last two years. During the last couple of weeks he has behaved quite irrationally on occasion. As there is no one much to observe this who can advise him to take all of that leave which is owing to him, I think I may have to take a rather drastic step and go and talk to someone about it. I don’t want him to have a breakdown. I feel like a tattletale.

Your new regime sounds ‘challenging’ if very hard work and I hope it won’t wear you out, particularly with a bossy boss. How I loathe the type who send peremptory notes and I do hope I wasn’t like that in the days when I ran a department! To [our family], who are always right, it comes hard doesn’t it?

Employment here is very bad, except if one has specific qualifications and experience e.g. mining engineer, accountant and top-level managerial experience. I have an interview for a job next week. The job is assistant archivist. I don’t know why they are even interviewing me, but perhaps there weren’t many real archivists who applied.

I muddle along as best I can. It’s a real case of ‘do what you can where you are with what you’ve got’!

It seems that as usual my out-of-date fantasy about having very little work in August and doing things like going home early and tidying the desk drawers, is indeed a fantasy, as I have to write the Annual Report by the end of August, complete with graphs and appendices etc., write various bids, re-vamp part of our education service, and finalise a whole range of service advice leaflets and programmes.

Your last letter relayed all the health problems you ended up with after the row with your boss. Wasn’t worth it, was it? I developed a back problem I think as a result of long hours and too much SITTING, SITTING, SITTING!!! Fortunately it came right on its own, or with the help of the change in jobs. I was so miserable in my work I think my mind was looking for ways to put an end to the stress if you know what I mean.