After death/news of death 3

X’s best friend died recently – she really wanted to go but it is still hard for X.

It was sad to hear about X’s death though I do realise of course that he was not the easiest man to live with.

X died the day after we left to come here. We said our goodbyes the day before as we both kind of knew. It didn’t lessen the shock any, even though it was expected.

It was good of you to write and tell me of X’s passing. It was a very sad piece of news. He had a long, happy and productive life and that must be some consolation to you all – I remember him with great affection. I hope she will be able to face her future life without him – it has to go on, but it’s never the same again. It’s awful having no one to chat to – that’s what I have never got used to.

X saw that the old relation died recently and said bravely but boldly that she would write to you (to save her writing direct!) to tell your Papa when next you wrote, as he was in faint contact with the old girl as you know. Eventually she admitted that she hadn’t actually got around to putting pen to paper or ringing up and I rashly said I would do it for her – and then left it sitting around for days long. So now I am settling down to do some letters and clear my conscience, and if you could remember pass the news on it would be appreciated .

I am sorry your friend died. Of course, if she was a good age these things are not unexpected. But it is an end of an era, and there is the sadness with the finality of it.

I was so sorry to hear of your mother’s sickness and dying. It is a hard time to go through, the best comfort is to be thankful she has no more suffering and problems. I sometimes wish my mother could see something then I realise she is far better off and happier where she is anyhow!

How is it that I only wept once or twice over my own mother’s illness and took the departure stoically, but am in floods now? Old Age perhaps.

grief

My brother had an accident with a tractor on his farm. …he was heavily sedated and for nine weeks from the date of the accident his life hung by a thread. While there were times when I was encouraged and thought he would recover, he eventually passed away. We will never know how much he suffered during this time as after the resuscitation a trachea was inserted and he was unable to communicate verbally but seemed to comprehend right to the end. I thought it a cruel procedure but it was intended to be a short term life saving device.

It’s so depressing the number of deaths we’ve had amongst family and friends this last 12 months.

Ageing (3)

I really need to keep a diary: the days get all mixed up in one’s mind, and most of their contents disappears into the rubbish bin of Forgetfulness, more or less without trace! I really don’t recommend the 80s!

I gathered he did his faint in the course of trying to pull up a bush he was transplanting, having dug all round it. It sounded as though X had left him inert in the hole while she went for the doctor, but perhaps it wasn’t quite like that.

fw 002
pulling up the rose bush

 

Poor old X – when we came here [14 years before] he and his wife used to make themselves responsible for the little church, mowing, cleaning down the walls and windows, etc. – and only two years ago he was still mowing a quarter acre of grass around his house, and walking every day to his son’s house, about a mile each way for his evening meal. Now he’s just about blind, and progressively slower on his feet and finding great difficulty with his vocabulary (aren’t we all?). He was very worried today when we got into church because he had lost his collection envelope, and kept feeling for it. Eventually when we got him home we went and searched high and low but it was nowhere to be found, in drawers or pockets, though everybody said that his son would have got it ready for him last night. After lunch the son rang up to thank us and it appeared that two months ago, to save the problem of losing the envelope, they started a bank order transfer – but X had forgotten that.

Poor dear seems to have completely lost his marbles, it’s very putting offing hearing the queer things people here do and say as they get beyond their years.

I don’t mind how long I live, I’ve lots I want to do, so long as I’m not beholden to someone else for decisions and have to be looked after (and I’m sure the family feel the same!!)

I’ve just been to wake him up – 2.45 – when he eventually came to he said, ‘What day is it?’ I said Monday but he decided we had Monday yesterday!

I shall be able to take my daily walk – which is already having a remarkable effect on the evening size of my ankles!

Our next door neighbour was brought home for Christmas, and we popped in to see him. He looks better than I expected physically, but just can’t get his words together, poor dear – even when she gives him half a chance, and she can talk the back leg off a donkey.